A near bystander’s look at the 10 things that make the 2010 Olympics different from anything else you’ve ever experienced:

1. Canadians know hospitality – The people of Canada generally don’t mind being invaded by hordes of foreign goofballs. About the biggest complaint you’ll hear from them is that all the low-tippers should be better educated about local tipping norms. But in general, they are glad you visited, and hope you enjoyed yourself. They don’t even ask whether you dropped a big wad of dough while in Vancouver or Whistler, because they live there every day, and therefore know that for sure you did.

2. Nearly 3 billion people got excited about a straight-air on a snowboard, stomped through 5 rings, onto a plastic pad, by a guy they have never heard of before (but how was it NOT Shaun White?). His name is Johnny Lyall and he’s a co-founder of the notorious 8-Mile crew in Whistler, BC (www.8milelife.com), along with superhero Mikey Rencz. “J-Bone” as he’s affectionately known by his peers, may have had the biggest moment of the entire games, helping to legitimize a sport teetering on the edge of mainstream acceptance (which many snowboarders actually don’t care much about). For his efforts, we can expect to see the young Vancouver-native reaching beyond his current sponsors like Endeavor Snowboards and Oakley Eyewear to major 2010 Games sponsors like Visa credit cards or Coca-Cola. Go Bones!

3. The guys with corporate logos on their shirts are the guys running the world. Several times during the week, it was apparent that the Olympics are a playground for the board of directors. No promotional girls nearby. No interest in pressing the flesh. Just XL thermo-tech jackets bearing emblems for AT&T, Kodak, and Bell Mobility seem to shuffle past you constantly, on their way to the front row. Behind them, inevitably another handful of similar puffy jackets, and a fur or two for good measure. The furs had gray-blonde hair emanating from them. Step aside, son. The big dogs are here.

4. Merch is king! When the city of Vancouver learned they would be hosting the Olympics, the party must have been hosted at The Bay department store. Whether you’re at New England Patriots game or Calgary Flames, you’ve never seen a line-up to buy officially licensed merchandise like this before. According to our coconut telegraph, some Olympomaniacs waited as long as 4 hours just to enter the downtown department store location to make their critical purchases and then wear them religiously each day of the event. Too bad no one told them the same stuff was already 50% off at London Drug!

5. The upsell is not optional. Mandatory ‘a la carte’ items like parking ($70/day in the lower Lonsdale lot by the Cypress bus hub) , $25 bus tickets (the only mode of transportation allowed , transportation, and $6 pizza slices remind you that you aren’t going to the zoo. Its not even Disney. Just pay as you go, try to be patient, and smile. You’re about to see a skier fly by you doing 120k.

6. Being in a venue is great, but being by a big TV is even better. If you’re one of the lucky ones that scored a ticket for half-pipe snowboarding, Alpine Skiing, or the opening ceremonies, good on ya. But let’s ask your feet where they would rather have been. On the ottoman at your house, the bar rail at the Cactus Club, or underneath you for 7+ hours of sheer frozen tundra hell. At the end of the day, its great to be in the action – unless its curling – but as long as you’re not stuck with NBC and its delayed coverage of every event, take it to the big screen next time.

7. Someone always does it better. You rented a $12,000,000 home in West Vancouver? Well our’s is worth $30,000,000. You came in on 60-foot cigarette boat from Seattle? We just brought the heli. You’re having dinner at Quattro? We’ll be at Lumiere. The Olympics is notorious one-up land. Atleast Vancouver finally gets its wish to be Los Angeles for a month.

8. Shaun White is from outer-space. Double McTwist 1260 landing heelside on a glory run when it didn’t even matter. Hi everyone. I’m still 23. See you in 4 years when I rip your brain out of your head once again.

9. Frends don’t let friends get their medals bitten by strange girls. Anyone that blames Scotty Lago for allowing a female at a private party to bite his bronze medal as it hung from a leash off his belt-loop within swinging distance from his private parts isn’t being fair. Scotty is by every account a super-quality guy who couldn’t turn down such a request any faster than would Tom Brady say no to a sideline autograph if he won. Fortunately these days Scotty is back in his native New Hampshire (‘Live Free or Die’) with medal in-tact, and the IOC is being cooler about this than a few experts had initially believed that they would be.

10. The generic spokesmodel gets the opportunities; the real pro – not so much. It remains perplexing why companies continue to use the generic rider in their Olympic-focused campaigns. Everyone from Jeep to Royal Bank of Canada has been guilty of it. What’s the rationale? Cost? Is it really that expensive to grab a pro rider and earn your credibility along with sharing that message that the essence of your brand fits well to this lifestyle? No, it isn’t. Then is it convenience? Just dress the model in generic wears instead of getting sign-offs from Brand Managers working for companies that sponsor these sports every day? Let’s imagine. “Hi, Johnny Rottenstix, Team Manager for X board company, would you be interested in your company reaching an audience of 25 million potential consumers for free? Maybe you could send over a couple set-ups for the guys at the office here and away we go! What do you say?” Option A: Johnny Rottenstix says yes. Option B: Johnny Rottenstix gets fired.